How to be Present For Loved Ones During The Holidays

A tool for supporting loved ones and creating inclusive spaces this Holiday season.

P - Prepare to welcome your loved one.

• Talk to your family about creating an affirming environment. Ensure your space or virtual setting is wheelchair accessible. Know your boundaries. Create safety and care plans for yourself and others.

R - Respect how your loved one feels & shows up in the space.

• Listen and affirm their experiences without minimizing their feelings. Don't pressure folks to be in a space or engage in conversation.

E - Extend an invitation to your holiday function.

• Some of your loved ones may not be in safe spaces this season. Yours could be that place for them to feel loved and welcomed. Give yourself permission to be with biological and chosen family members.

S - Serve as a person for support.

• Remind them you are only a call/text/zoom call away if they need you. Letting them know they have someone there for them can make all the difference.

E - Enforce boundaries set by your loved ones.

• Center your boundaries and respect others' boundaries while together. For example: not forcing someone to participate in a tradition or be in a certain area. Create spaces where folks can process.

N - Name and identify support plans.

• Take care of yourself and loved one in the event that harm takes place. Connect with others to create a community of support for your loved one. You don't have to do it by yourself.

T - Take time to spend with your loved one before and after the holidays.

• Invite your loved one to plan menus or events after the holidays. Holidays aren't the only times we can be in community with each other.”

*adapted from PFLAG: How to be an Ally